Day 8: Seattle

Day 8 stats:
Miles: 0 driven (about 5 walked)
Highway Patrol: 0 (but a few of Seattle's finest)
Tolls: 0
Hitchhikers: 0

This day was the first - and only - day I didn't drive. I did however take a monorail and walk a decent amount. I won't say I walked a lot, because for me a lot is about 12+ miles in a day. I was able to see a variety of sights in a a day.

1. Seattle Art Museum. Primarily a modern and contemporary art museum, but they did have a great exhibition called "Inspiring Impressionists," which talked about how impressionist were influenced by old masters, 17th century Dutch landscape painters and the works they say at the Louvre. On display were not only the impressionists works, but also their "muses." A great start to the day!

2. Pike Place Market. Kind of touristy, but lots of good fresh food.

3. Space Needle. I took the monorail to the Space Needle and felt like I was on a very large Disneyland "land" (e.g., Tomorrow Land, etc). Surrounding the Needle was like a carnival, complete with a Ferris Wheel, some spinning rides and of course the Bumbershoot music festival, which is apparently the largest music festival in Seattle. I didn't know this was going on until I arrived in Seattle. Thankfully it was a clear day - a rarity in Seattle - so I had some great views. But after looking at the views for about 5 minutes I realized I spent more time standing in the ticket and elevator lines than I was going to spend looking at the view. Oh well.

4. Seattle Waterfront. I decided to walk back from the Space Needle to Pioneer Square (birthplace of Seattle, but more about that later). My first stop on the waterfront was the Olympic Sculpture Park. Lots of very large modern and contemporary sculpture including a series of 20-30 foot tall orange traffic cones. And then a very disturbing fountain. I continued my walk along the piers.

5. Seattle Underground. No it's not a subway system. It is a tour that I would totally recommend to anyone going to Seattle. I learned so much about the history of Seattle...did you know that for decades the streets and sidewalks were 10-35 feet above the store fronts and people would have to go up and down ladders and stairs just to walk a couple blocks. Eventually a series of underground walkways were created, which considering the rainy weather...walking underground is much preferred than climbing a slippery ladder while wearing a petticoat (at least for women). We walked on and under Pioneer Square.

Homeward bound...

Day 8: Drive to Seattle

Day 8 Stats:
Miles: 300-ish
Highway Patrol: 3
Tolls: 0
Hitchhikers: 2 (there was a sign on the highway that said "Hitchhiking Permitted"....but no one was there)

I didn't really expect it to take almost 6 hours to drive across the state of Washington, but it did...those dirt roads leaving the winery took a while.

During the drive I was somewhat surprised about the landscape of central Washington, it was almost desert-like, and the scenery reminded me somewhat of Lake Havasu in Arizona! And I found what I call a "mini-me" Grand Canyon - it is about 1/10 of the one in Arizona and not as colorful, but other than that a dead ringer.

Once I got about 100 miles outside of Seattle something expected occurred: rain. Throughout the trip I have been blessed with blue skies and sunshine, with only about 5 minutes or rain in Montana, but then again Seattle isn't the rain capital of the US for nothing (I don't really know if it is true or not, but it sure seems like it).

Normally rain isn't a big deal to me, but as I drove down some very steep mountains on some very windy roads adding rain to the mix is a recipe for disaster. Thank you state of Washington for having guard rails...there tends to be a family history of windy mountainous roads, absent guard rails and disasters....

By the time I got into downtown Seattle I was ready to check into my hotel - a very cool former early-20th century gentlemen's club (not a strip club, but a place were actual "gentlemen" socialized) - but my room wasn't ready, so I hung out in the Polar Club bar.

Next stop: touring Seattle....

Day 7 (night): Winery

The thought of spending the night at an organic winery in rural northeastern Washington, sounded like a nice, relaxing idea, and oh was it.

It turned out that the winery was a croquet-playing, organic hippie commune, from actual hippies. The early 70s were frequently looked backed upon as the good ol' days before "the big guys" took over organic farming, people donate plasma for money and when William Shatner would pick up hitchhikers twice - and give them $20 - twice. I am not exaggerating, these were stories told to me by a random community of people who live/work on and around the winery.

Before I begin I should say that everyone was extremely warm, friendly, hospitable, truly some of the nicest people I met on my journey, but they were an interesting collection of personalities...

The Vintner: He had two names, one I think his parents gave him and one I think he gave himself. A tall thin man with a white beared and long-ish curly white hair. He loves all things organic, including organic jalapeno cheese puffs and croquet. He is rather cryptic about his background beyond that his family was in agriculture and he has been a vintner for 15 years. He kept saying "Do you know how you make a small fortune in wine? Start with a large one."

The Writer/Musician: A tall, thin man in mid-50s who was very proud of his recent tan. He is planning to go on a music tour in 5 days, just completed his second novel, and in his spare time plows forest land to create a regulation-size croquet field on the winery's property. He hopes to have a US Open tournament there. The court will include a bar (plumbing has been laid) and bleachers. He and his wife have a home near the winery, but he has recently chosen to sleep out of his car (note: he and his wife are not separated, he talked about her planned trip to Wal-Mart).

The Organic Farmer: A woman in her mid-50s, who spent 13 years as an organic farmer. She owns her place/property, but does not have running water, so she often uses the showers in the local laundromat or on the winery. The purpose of her visit this evening was to collect some water. She is extremely passionate about organic farming, and how fertilizers should not be used..the soil should be replenished through crop rotation.

The Vagabond: I believe he is/was homeless. Another tall thin man in his mid-50s, who talked about his new false teeth within 3 minutes of meeting him. I don't think he had been around a new woman in sometime, since he found me quite fascinating. He talked about how he was originally from the Chicago area, his hitchhiking adventures up the Pacific Coast, and how even though he doesn't have a lot of money and he is still learning "country etiquette" the people at the winery were very nice to him. He also gave me a tour of the land.

After watching a croquet match between the The Vintner and The Writer/Musician on a much smaller croquet field, but still following Oxford-something rules (something to do with chess). I was treated with some homemade (organic, of course) chili in the cannery where The Organic Farmer and I talked about organic farming, vegetarianism and gas prices.

Day 7: Idaho, Montana, Idaho (again), Washington

Day 7 Stats:
Miles: 450-ish
Tolls: 0
Highway Patrol: 3 (1 of which I thought was pulling me over!)
Hitchhikers: 0

I got an early start as I began another day of marathon driving. It took me a few hours to get the interstate and I was awarded for my patience with some rather lovely and picturesque scenes, and some rather interesting signs, including "Testicle Festival." 2008 was the 26th year of this rather obscure event, which is held in late July through early August. I believe it has something to do with bull castration or "Rocky Mountain Oysters" based on the accompanying graphic - a rather scared bull standing on his hind legs with a protective pose over his nether area. Unfortunately no picture of sign and obviously I didn't make the event, but I do say it might have eclipsed Hustlerfest.

As I crossed western Montana, northern Idaho and started to enter eastern Washington, I was once again amazed by the landscape: rolling grasslands converging into large fir trees. I was in quite a bucolic mood and then I mood changed...

Five miles passed the Washington state line is a sign that says "State Law: Left lane is for passing only." Yes, a state law. Obviously basic driver safety and the common sense that the lane on the furthest left is the "fast lane," is hard to grasp in Washington, which I soon discovered.

First let me say this: I am a completely unabashed, unapologetic lead foot. If the speed limit is 70 I go between 78-85...and have on this trip hit 103. However, I'm always safe (well, most of the time). If road conditions call for it I will gladly go 72 or 73 in a 70...or even, heaven forbid, 68.

Now back to the story. As I entered Washington going about 80, I was met with people (from Idaho) who seem to think that travelling 72 in a 70 gives them the right to be in the left or "fast lane" (there are 3 lanes). When they see me coming up behind them they decide the best course of action is not to change lanes and let me pass..no it is to SLAM ON THE BRAKES. This highly unsafe action, forces me to slam on my brakes and cut across two lanes of traffic and pass them in the far right lane. AAAAAAGGGGHHHH!!!

I spent the next few hours contemplating the lack of driver safety exhibited by my fellow travelers. That was until I ended up in very rural Washington, when I then had a new item to occupy my mind: how can someone under the age of 40 be missing about 8 front teeth....

On my route to a winery in the forest around Roosevelt Lake (FDR not Teddy), I came across a slight detour, due to inadequate signs I ended up on the wrong road, but thankfully there was a friendly local who helped me give directions.

When I first asked him I thought for sure the next thing people would hear about me was "woman found dead floating in Roosevelt Lake." However, the nice man in his late 30s, and missing about half his teeth, wearing a shirt with torn-off sleeves, did not abduct me, instead he gave me accurate directions and wished me a safe journey.

Two hours and 10 miles of dirt road later I found the winery.

Day 6 (evening): Rodeo

Videos will be posted when I have a stronger connection...

Even though I lived in Tucson for 7 years, I never attended a rodeo. That has changed. On Thursday I joined about 150 people to watch bull & horse riders, calf ropers and barrel racers from the local ranch families compete. We were assured that the results of that night would place an "important" part in the weekened finals.

Not really sure what I expect I watched with baited breath. The first event: bare-back horse riding... 3 of the 4 competitors either got scores of zero or were disqualified. So the guy who won, basically did by default. This was going to be a short night. The night continued in this way. Typically about 50% of the contestants in each competition were eliminated due to zero scores or disqualification.

The most endearing thing about the rodeo (yes, rodeoes can be endearing), was that some of the participants were about 8 years old, and were making their rodeo debut. Though they didn't score well, they always got the loudest applause.

The "highlight" of rodeo is the bull riding competition. This particular event determines who is "the man" in the rodeo, even if "the man" is 12 years old. Let me repeat that, 12 years old. There were two 12 year olds riding bulls. I can't really comment on that besides to say: huh.

The thing I remembered most was a joke one of the rodeo clowns said (I will try to repeat it verbatim): "What does a redneck, a hurricane and a tornado have in common? Someone's goin' be missin' a trailer"

Day 6: Yellowstone

Day 6 Stats:
Miles: 200-ish (to date I have travelled over 2,000 miles!)
Highway Patrol: 0 (unless you count park rangers)
Tolls: 0
Hitchhikers: 10 (all in the park -- and all about 20 years old!)

I did the abbreviated "Grand Tour" of Yellowstone: I focused on the southern loop. I hit the biggies: Old Faithful...Grand Canyon (not "The" Grand Canyon, but Yellowstone's)...Yellowstone Lake...and the "wild and dangerous" wildlife (the park's terms).

The day started out rather chilly: 39! But it got rather warm, and it was a gorgeous sunshiney day.

I spent most of the day just enjoying the scenic drive. 45 mph....for about 6 hours...across windy, often tree-lined (often not) roads. For those every planning a trip to Yellowstone, here are a couple items to note:

1. Old Faithful now has viewing benches, with shows beginning about every 10-15 minutes (hence the term "faithful"). The old guy has lost of his eruption height due to earthquakes, but he is still quite a site.

2. Bison like to eat. They eat in the river. They eat in the grasslands. They eat on the side of the road. And people LOVE to take pictures of them eating. If you see about 10-15 cars in a pull out, it is because a bison is eating. (Picture: the ONE bison I saw that wasn't eating. He was lounging by the side of the road..posing for pictures)

3. It takes a forest longer than 20 years to replenish after a fire. There was a very large fire in 1988, and evidence of it is everywhere. As new trees are growing, you see their dead, charred brethren towering 50-70 feet over them. Destroyed tree trunks are all over the landscape. The circle of life is on full display.

4. Geysers are everywhere..and they tend to stink like rotten eggs (the sulphur). Old Faithful may be the most famous one, but he ain't the only one.


5. Waterfalls are something to behold. The Grand Canyon (again the Yellowstone one), has some gorgeous falls, but try to check out it's less famous cousin Gibson Falls.

I planning on going to the local rodeo tonight. Should be fun!

Day 5: South Dakota, Wyoming, Montana & Idaho

Day 5 Stats:

Miles: 450-ish

Highway Patrol: 3 (but 1 was city police and 1 was county sheriff - at the same intersection)

Tolls: 0

Hitchhikers: 2

To date this has been my longest drive on the trip. I left the Black Hills and had planned on driving through Wyoming to get to Idaho, but my GPS unit said to go around Wyoming and drive through the southern part of Montana. Figuring a GPS unit is better at directions than me and a very large Rand McNally road atlas that I haven't really looked since I started my trip, I went with the GPS.

Though it was an extremely scenic drive..."amber waves of grain" come to mind, I saw more road construction than I have ever seen. And I ended up on many a dirt roads and backroads, and even the interstate would at times be a dirt road!

As an update to my previous posting about the most common demographic visiting national parks, I need to add: bikers. Both true "bikers" (aka the ones you don't want to mess with) and what I call "accountant bikers" (aka the ones you love to mess with). Since most of the "accountant bikers" were probably in college when "Easy Rider" came out, I think they are going through a mid-life crisis, and have the need for speed; or at least the need to spend hundreds of dollars on Harley-Davidson branded leather goods (which obviously have seen VERY little wear). I came across one said "accountant biker" who for some reason couldn't figure out the credit card payment system at a gas pump...20 minutes later he was on his way...and the peaceful, easy feeling that I had developed over the past few days had disappeared. CURSE YOU ACCOUNTANT BIKER!!

But I digress...

My ten-plus hour drive continued through goregous landscapes....the buttes and grasslands began to weave in mountains and fir trees.... And I quickly realized why Montana is called "Big Sky Country" because the sky seems to be so much larger than any where else I have ever been. I found myself taking pictures of the dramatic sky more than the landscape. I took 129 pictures on this drive and the only time I got out of the car was for gas, food and bathroom break!

The one issue I did have with Montana is the number of factories that seem to dot the landscape. I totally understand the need for people to maintain a livelihood, but it was rather distressing to see a Halliburton factory or processing center. Does anyone know what Bentonite is? Well I found the world's capital of it in Montana.

They day ended at a very cute lodge where the proprietors, a couple from Switzerland and I watch the Democratic National Convention.

Next stop: Yellowstone (I do mean it this time)!

Day 4: South Dakota

Miles: 200-ish
Tolls: 0
Highway Patrol: 1

Started off with the best breakfast I have had in along time: breakfast enchilada with chorizo, fresh fruit, OJ and muffin. I really like my "lodge"ings. A lodge built in 1908...the town - Hisega - is named after it, which it took its name from the first letters of the people who founded the area (all are women I believe). Had a great conversation over breakfast with the fellow guests...all in their late 50s and mid 60s...seems to be the demographic who travels to the national parks. Or families, go figure!

Had a very full day. Went to Mt Rushmore. It is much smaller than I envisioned, and has a very elaborate entry area...almost as if I was approaching sacred ground, very odd since it is secular. I mused around the area for a while, then set off for the Crazy Horse monument. One of the lodge's guests asked why I wanted to see it since "it wasn't finished," well whenever it is finished it will be amazing. Heck Rome wasn't built in a day, how could something this massive (and without tax payer dollars) be built in less than 100 years. I figure it will be like Gaudi's cathedral in Barcelona. But it was very interesting, and even though it isn't 10% towards completion, I was a lot more interested in it than I was in Mt Rushmore.

Also, at Crazy Horse there was "Thunder" a 22 year old cat that had a warning sign next to it: "CAUTION": My name is THUNDER. I'm 22 years old...so I may be grump"...the cat was sleeping next to the sign, and even though I passed by it twice and it was next to a very busy door...the cat barely moved (it did move, but not a lot).

After Crazy Horse I decided I wanted to go off the beaten path, and boy did I. I was on a quest to find the "Wonderland Cave," since I don't remember ever being in a cave I thought this would be interesting. Well I ended up on two dirt roads and two paved roads (one of which is the reason why people like to drive...I felt like I was in a car commercial). The dirt roads...well...one was ok...very scenic. The other: if the car was 1 foot to the left...I WOULD NOT BE HERE - a 4,500 foot drop into a canyon!! The road apparantly can acoomodate 2 cars, but not sure how, when just one small SUV it felt a little tight. After that near death experience, I went on a tour of a very long and deep cave: about 250 feet underground and about 400 feet deep. It was full of crystals or what would be crystals if there wasn't dirt, rock and grime covering it.

I then braved another journey down the death road to Deadwood. Considering the TV show I was expecting something...how can I say...rather 'colorful'. What I found was a bunch of cheap hotels, Victorian homes and lots of casinos, which, really isn't that was Deadwood (the TV show) was all about, well except no brothels (that I was aware of). I ended up getting lost in Deadwood (I refused to follow my GPS's directions), but eventually found my way back.

I have a lot of pictures, but will post later. Very tired.

Next stop: Yellowstone

Day 3 - I *heart* South Dakota

Day 3 stats:
Miles: 400-ish
Tolls: 0
Highway Patrol: 2 in action 2 empty cars

I LOVE SOUTH DAKOTA. Did you hear me I LOVE SOUTH DAKOTA!! This place has more cool stuff in that any place I've been to yet on this trip.

1. The Corn Palace. Yes it is "corny" but it is doing what it was originally intended to do 100+ years ago...bring tourists in to show that corn can be grown in South Dakota. I saw signs for this in Wisconsin, and I have to say it wasn't on par with the Taj Mahal, but the fact that every year a new corn mural design is done is pretty awesome.





2. The Badlands. It is like a desert in the middle of the prairie. Gorgeous example of erosion caused by the White River cutting into layers of volcanic ash. I flew over it in a helicopter -- just me and the pilot -- which was super cool. Then I drove through it with 1970s Bruce Springsteen playing incluidng "Badlands" :)

3. Wall Drug. The actual store is about 1 city block long, and it is full of a bunch of crap, but the signs to the store are EVERYWHERE, betwen Wisconsin and South Dakota. I'd say they are probably every 4-5 miles (at least). They even sell "jackalope" heads...rather disturbing...but then again, most of the store is.

4. The landscape. Since Minnesota destroyed their portion of the prairie it was nice to see South Dakota kept some of it, though there sure are a lot of billboard signs up along the way (most for Wall Drug). It was an amazing transition from farm land to grass land to forest. Plus the Missouri River; it may not be as big as "Big Muddy" but it ain't too shabby.

I'll be here for a couple more days, still need to see Mt Rushmore, Deadwood and who knows what else!!


(Me in the helicopter)

Day 1 & 2: Wisconsin, Minnesota & South Dakota

Day 2 stats:
Miles: 365
Number of highway patrol spotting: 3
Tolls: 0

I may switch to posting every other day...I think exhaustion from the past few weeks is starting to set-in...

But I do want to give highlights:

Hustlerfest, the calendar of events says it all. One question though, what is a "Chicken Poop Contest"?

(For those who can't read it, the list of events include:
Pie Eating
Bale Throwing (Men & Women)
Chicken Throw (Women, Kids & Men)
Nail Driving
Fiddlestix [a country band]
Bingo
Parade
Chicken Poop)


Drive through Minnesota...my friend Beth said it was really flat. It is. Really. Flat. I really missed the rolling hills of Wisconsin. And I was disappointed that one of the three natural prairies in the world is now the "corn belt," and the prairie is gone. [The other prairies are in Argentina and Russia.]

Random road signs:
"La Crosse, Wisconsin's ELVIS EXPLOSION Sept 5, 6 & 7" -- 3 days of Elvis in La Crosse??

"Johnson & Doerhoefer, PA, Certified Public Accountants" -- nothing terribly interesting about that except for sign sharing the same billboard and the building the sign was on: "The Beer Depot, A Large Selection of Beer, Wine & Liquor"

"Kum & Go" -- a chain of gas stations. I so want to make a pithy comment about this one, but I'll leave it up to you....

"Plain, Wisconsin" - town road sign. The town itself was very picturesque...all 5 blocks of it....

"Kiester, Minnesota" - town road sign. Never saw the town, but I hope it over compensates for its naming misfortune.

Upon arriving in South Dakota, I was getting sleepy...so much flat, straight road will do that to ya! I thought it would be best to see at least one "site" before going to my Victorian mansion bed & breakfast. The one site happened to be next door to the B&B - the Pettigrew Home & Mansion. It was the home of South Dakota's first US Senator (coincidentally enough Sioux Falls is home to one of South Dakota's current US Senators). Mr. Pettigrew was considered a "collector" of objects....today he wold be considered a thief or a looter.

Next up....the Corn Palace, the Badlands....

Day 1 – Wisconsin (Part 1)

(Sorry it took so long….no connectivity in rural Wisconsin…more photos will be posted on a photo gallery)

Tolls: $4.20
Number of highway patrol: 1
Miles: 273
Time it took me to realize my life was missing something without a GPS: 5 minutes

My road trip started off later than I had planned. Originally I was going to pick my rental car up at 8 a.m., but since I didn’t get out of bed until 8 a.m….well, things were delayed from the get-go.
I again battled Illinois Department of Transportation (IDOT), it seems every 20 miles there is a toll, for no apparent reason. In California, I know of one toll way, that is going over the Golden Gate bridge, however, I feel you get something for your toll: 1 entry into San Francisco and 2 entry into Marin County. What do you get in Illinois? Rockford. Enough said.

As I made my way into Wisconsin, I was struck with a couple things.
No tolls
Prevalence of barns and grain silos
Lower than expected cheese hawkers

I guess when I ventured into “cheesehead” country I would expect to see a lot more cheese. Truth be told I was looking forward to buying a shirt that said “It ain’t easy being cheesy,” but I have been utterly disappointed. What I have been finding a lot is “Cornellier,” which I’m not sure what it is. I’ve asked my friendly Farm/B&B proprietress, and she was at a lost herself. Something to Google.

Now back to the trip.

The area of Wisconsin that I have visited is rural. Not just small towns, but microtowns. One place had a population of 376, and was maybe 4 block long.

Inspired by my bookclub’s selection “Loving Frank,” I decided to take a trip to Taliesin near Spring Green, Wisconsin. This trip was my real reason in coming to Wisconsin. Well the surrounding countryside is gorgeous, lots of rolling hills, wonderful gardens with blooming flowers and Asian sculptures, a lovely lake that Wright had dammed up so he could generate hydroelectric power. All-in-all a great place for a love nest.

What I found somewhat disconcerting was the cheaply made furniture and rather shoddy construction. Almost all the furniture was made out of plywood – except for the stuff he ordered from Marshall Field’s. The Taliesin compound – consisting of living quarters, studios, workman quarters – has huge structural issues. The guide said that Wright never intended the facility to last a long time, and that it was to be “consumed by the earth.” Well it just felt very superficial: lots of time and labor intensive details, but very a poor foundation.

After Taliesin, I was on my way to my lodgings: Sunnyfield Farm Bed & Breakfast in Camp Douglas…at least that was what I was told. It turns out it is near Camp Douglas, but actually closer to Hustler, and it was Hustlerfest time….

Roadtrip Preparation

Book lodgings: hotels, farms, B&Bs, lodges, wineries - DONE

Reserve rental car - DONE

Buy airline ticket - DONE

Send itinerary to parents - DONE

Procure extremely large road atlas - DONE

Camera batteries - NOT DONE

Purchase GPS - NOT DONE

Pack - NOT DONE

Purchase "healthful" travel snacks - NOT DONE

I leave for my roadtrip in 17 hours and I feel very, very behind....

My Unplanned Road Trip into the Heartland

It all started off innocently enough. I was going to my friend Amy's daughter's christening in the Chicago suburb of Clarendon Hills at 11:30 a.m. on Saturday...but Illinois Department of Transportation (IDOT) had other plans....

8:30 a.m. - Check online to get train schedule. I had previously gone to Clarendon Hills 3 years ago (to see Amy and her baby son) via a commuter train, so I figure this would be how I would go there. Well, the only way to get there required an "L" train, 2 buses and then a connection to a commuter train...all-in-all a 3 hour tour to go 30 miles...Gilligan & The Skipper can tell you what can happen in a 3 hour tour. Besides according to the schedule I would had to have been on the "L" 15 minutes ago. I have one option left: rent a car.

10 a.m. - Go to Union Station to pick up my car.

10:30 a.m. - After about 15 minutes of navigating the one ways around Union Station, I'm finally off. Using my handy-dandy driving instructions from Google Maps, I get on I-90/I-94 (Kennedy Expressway) Westbound from Randolph Street. My instructions say to take Lake Street...Lake is one block north of Randolph and I did the instructions from my home which is about 1.5 blocks north of Lake. Since I am going southwest, I don't foresee this as an issue.

10:40 a.m. - I'm on I-90/I-94 W looking for I-290 W (Eisenhower Expressway), but can't seem to find it. I see several other "I" signs, but not I-290 W, I see Cellular Field...and the Indiana toll way is coming up. Time to turnaround.

10:45 a.m. - I'm now on I-90/I-94 E. I pass Cellular Field, again. After about 3 miles I find I-290 W...it is about 8 blocks south of where I originally got onto the Expressway...not really sure how I missed it. I begin to sit in traffic, since in addition to this interstate taking travelers to the suburbs it also takes travelers to downtown Chicago. I proceed to get cutoff by about 8 cars.

10:55 a.m. - I'm on I-290 W. Now I have to keep my eyes peeled for I-88 W (Ronald Reagan Memorial Expressway...what is it with presidential expressways?). I should be there in plenty of time. My directions say it should take me 30 minutes from my place to the church.

11:05 a.m. - I-88 W. I'm going in the right direction. Now need to find US-34 W.

11:10 a.m. - No signs for US-34 W, and I'm now in massive construction. One lane has no exits and two lanes have lots of exits. I'll keep with the two lane option. I'm passing Oak Brook, Naperville, Lisle...these suburbs are kind of far outside of Chicago...

11:20 a.m. - Still no signs for US-34 W. I'm approaching the Aurora toll way and the Aurora Premium Outlets. Maybe US-34 W is right after the toll. My directions to do say "toll way."

11:25 a.m. - Pay the $0.80 toll.

11:30 a.m. - I have crossed the surburbia border and now am in farmland. The christening has already begun. I'm very, very, late.

11:35 a.m. - There are no exits. I see a sign: "DeKalb 26 mi Iowa 125 mi" Holy Crap where am I!....I'm amazed at the landscape. Lots of green flat lands with very, very small hills (more like lush dunes) and random buildings: grain silos, barns, farmhouses. The bright blue sky and puff white clouds take up about 90% of the landscape. I feel like I'm in some sort of 17th century Dutch landscape painting. I reach for my camera, but I didn't bring it. Camera Phone! I take random shots of the scenery while going 70 mph down the "road to nowhere"....still no exits. I have been thinking about doing a road trip to visit various midwest states, maybe this is a sign? Should I drive to Iowa? I reconsider: black sheath dress, nude patent leather heels, pink pashmina, long gold necklace and large green leather purse really isn't "road trip" attire...I'll save Iowa for another time...

11:55 a.m. - An exit! But another toll! A sign for an "oasis" that consists of McDonalds, Subway, Panda Express and Mobil gasoline at the exit after the tool exit. Hallelujah!

Noon - I procure a map for $8.95, which I will most likely never use. I call my friend to apologize for not being at the christening. I realize I don't have the address for the lunch afterwards. I get her voicemail...in Florida. Aware I won't be enjoying a nice lunch in my friend's sister's home, I take in the healing power of McDonalds and plan my journey back to city. Then I see it. A bumper sticker: "I brake for trains." Whoa, who doesn't?

12:05 p.m. - I have driven around the parking lot twice and can't seem to find out how to get to the toll way "east." There are several signs for toll way "west" but I'm not looking to go to Iowa...I inquire at the convenience store "How do I get to the toll way east?" "Are you parked in this parking lot?" "Yes" "What type of car do you have?" "Corolla" "You have to take toll way west and take the next exit, turnaround then go east" "Um, ok, thanks." Maybe if I had an SUV I could go throw the padlock gate that separates the east and west parking lots....What genius thought of having two separate parking lots taking away the inalienable right to U-turn by forcing travelers to go to the next exit?

12:10 p.m. - Enlightenment: The State of Illinois thought of this, so IDOT could take $2.20 in tolls...one to exit and one to enter the toll way...those #@%&*!

12:45 p.m. - I'm approaching the Aurora toll stop and the Aurora Premium Outlets. Since I'm not going to the christening, why not get some shopping done. Not gonna happen. The woman in Hyundai didn't want me to go shopping...I can't believe she blocked my exit. The next exit isn't for another....5 miles....Must be divine intervention...

12:50 p.m. - Pay the $0.80 toll. They get you coming & going...what a racket.

1:15 p.m. - Pay another $0.80 toll. So it costs twice as much to come into Chicago as it does to leave?...I guess that controls the population.

1:30 p.m. - US-34 W exit. No forewarning sign. No "US-34 W 1 mile" Nothing. Just an exit sign. I don't feel so bad now. It wasn't my fault I missed the exit, it was IDOT, and their very elaborate plan to take $4.60 in tolls from me!

1:40 p.m. - Sitting in traffic. Moving at 10 mph. Stopping. Moving. Stopping....I'm so happy I don't have to drive on a regular basis. Starting to get sleepy....

2 p.m. - Return rental car. My journey has come to an end. I didn't accomplish anything, except strengthen my resolve to do a road trip and fortify my dislike for IDOT.

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Post Script: In trying to think of the purpose for my epic journey I thought I it might be an allegory to life: a long road to no where/pastoral paradise with oases that give us joy coupled with the consequences of taking a wrong turn and having to a pay a price to get back on track. But that is the easy way out, and it's also a bunch of trite crap.

So instead I give you this.... "I brake for trains." A statement that I'd say most of the population can agree on as being the right course of action, and for those who disagree, well they probably have a limited life expectancy. So how can we leverage this pretty much universally accepted idea? I say, use it as a call to action to unite our fractured society. It is smart without being "elitist." It is simple without being "old fashioned." In a word it is elegant. So I challenge all of you to contact your elected official and tell them there is a movement out there which everyone can agree on no matter your political, religious or social beliefs...the belief that we should all brake for trains. Maybe this small step of unity could change the world. I feel this...this was the purpose for my journey. Have a good weekend & always remember to brake for trains.....